That’s just how I feel.

My memory loves you; it asks about you all the time. When you’re far from me my memory reminds me of the times we spent together, it reminds me of the bad times as well as the uncomfortable moments we've shared.

My heart wants to stop loving you; it wants to stop beating every time I think of you. When you said you were done, closing the chapter without a beautiful ending my heart grew hard as if it had heart diseases. My heart is weak and my heart has been scared by your sudden change of mind.

My memory loves you; it taps my heart's shoulder almost every morning and almost every night. My memory speaks to me with a careless whisper forgotten as the sands of time reach the bottom of the hour glass. My memory has placed a force field protecting the memory of you from aging as I desperately try to forget.

My heart wants to stop loving you; it wants to stop and not beat in the same rhythm as your heart once did when we were chest to chest on a cold winters night. My heart wants to beat for the sole purpose of survival and not for anyone else. My heart wants the pain of losing you to go away.

My memory loves you; every lonely night when I blink I see your face and every fiber in my body is alive again. As the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months, and months into years my memory fights with everything it has to remember your laugh, your eyes, your fingers dancing on my hands. My memory does not want to let go.

This has become my life. This is me moving on. This feeling that has consumed and frustrated me has manifested it's self as an ambitious writer who hangs on to his surroundings like a drunk ghost in an empty vessel .  

But please don't worry about me. My heart will keep beating and my memory will keep record of your existence, I'll be okay my love; I'll be all right.