Emotional baggage

It’s a quirk of our minds how we pursue some of the things we believe will make us happy, and in turn drop those pursuits when we realise we’re not getting the result we initially wanted. We deflect our insecurities towards others because we don’t want to be alone. This is the result of disavowed feelings that we deliberately refuse to acknowledge or let rise up to the surface and deal with them accordingly.

We look for ways to numb our suffering by consuming toxic chemicals, staying busy, exercising profusely, and going out to meet new people or to catch up with old friends. This may be the result of an experience we endured and never really addressed in any way; this could have been something as simple as someone who betrayed our trust, violated our self-esteem or made us doubt their kindness.

The mind is a very complicated and sensitive instrument, it continuously endures a life time battle between emotion and logic, play and work, sacrifice and reward. As human beings, we’re all very similar in design, culture, religion, race, and aspiration, but the nuances of emotion define who we truly are towards others. Uninterpreted emotions do manifest themselves as powerful directionless anxiety, resulting in us being anxious and depressed about everything because we don’t want to be anxious and depress about one specific thing.

The process of evaluating our emotions regularly brings about an alleviating sense in our mood. We must pay for our self-awareness with a period of mourning and gradually accept, in some area or other, that life is a lot sadder than what we initially expected. 

Tennis

Today I’m going to write about a sport that has seen the greatest sportsmen and women in history, scream, shout, and let it all out on the court, while wearing the shortest skirts and shorts that the world has enjoyed looking at. For most teenagers, this is soft porn they can watch in front of their parents, and for parents this is the only form of porn they can control.

This is a beautiful game, a game where you’re judged by your inadequacies. A game where your opponents–who’s most probably wearing even shorter shorts or skirt than you are–become champions because of your mistakes. This sport is called tennis.

On TV you’ll notice the coach watching from the player’s box wearing his shades with arms crossed, while the tennis player screams at himself and destroys their $600 000 tennis racquet that is supposed to make them play like a champion, while the coach reminisces on the times when he could watch a tennis game on TV, with his mother.

But seriously this is a beautiful sport, and each game can literally go on forever unless someone makes a mistake. If you’re 105 years old and you’re watching your greatest grandson’s granddaughter go up against the best tennis player in the world, you don’t have forever, you have about as much time as it takes to cook microwaved noodles for your grandson’s granddaughter to win the match. If she loses… well, let’s just say mourning the loss of that game will not be the only mourning she will be doing that week.

Every game, every set you see a player lose, it destroys them as much as their greatest grandmother silently fades into the next world. What makes things even worse is that the crowd claps like hungry seals clapping for fish when that hardworking player makes a mistake. My advice for anybody wanting to pick up tennis would be to play basketball. The shorts have gotten much longer, the crowd cheers you on when you DON’T make a mistake, and the pay is amazing. Plus you can convince your parents you’re not yet ready to watch soft porn in front of them. 

what a weekend.

So yesterday my girlfriend and I went to Groote Constantia wine estate. It was a cold and epic day. we pretty much got drunk of some really good wine and we started talking about our families. I guess wine will make any man reveal his inner secrets with the right kind of wine and the right kind of company.

We were talking about how closed minded our families are and what makes us so different that they would actually denounce us as if they actually knew who we really are.  What was important and it needs to be highlighted here is that we are not better than them, we are different. There hardest thing to do in any family is to love your family unconditionally.

After our evening of raises glasses, we went to the Grand West Casino. We saw King Tutenkhamun's tomb and we realised how rich the Egyptians were. This little bugger had three gold coffins and one coffin made out of stone. He had two chariots, one was for leisure, the other was for war. WAR! this kid is dead, but here were are standing infront of his war chariot.

He also had his throne, his organs placed in gold shrines protected by gods sculptured in gold. He had everything he needed for the after life and more. He even had servants called the answers for when he needed people to serve him in the after life. REALLY?

He had perfume, different kinds oils and make up to help him maintain a kingly image in the after life. His sandals were made our of pure gold and his all of his jewelry was made out of pure gold and blue stone from a meteoroid that landed in Egypt. This dynasty was rich and they lived like gods.

This Egyptians were black, and they were gods on earth. They had it all and more, in this life and the next.

The lesson I learnt here is that you got to get up early even on saturday to actually see the day. Winter I can't wait for you the end of your reign! 

as she was search for the sound of the dripping water she felt a drop of water hit her head. it was cold and fluid. she stood still, looked up and the ground beneath her opened up, and she fell into a cave.

she fell into a hole in the ground and landed on a sponge. she was glad it was there but she was frightened at the fact that someone had purposefully placed it there.

she looked around and noticed that the cave had many paths to it. she wanted to climb back up and go back to her warm bed, but the whole she fell from was impossible to climb (find the words and describe it).

she decided that her path out of herr laid with these paths. and so began her story.  

I woke up like this

I've decided to write like I used to. I read a book that suggested that I --me Nqobani Zondi-- should create unnecessarily. Write a piece of writing about anything I want.

I don't really know where the author got my name, I'm assuming it's all the american girls i've met in obz, but he spelt it correctly and the message was loud and clear. Message received!

This morning I'm going to write about what I did.

I got up at 6:15 and I pressed the snooze button so I could go back to sleep, that's all I did really. I believe everybody does this in winter. Pressing the snooze button is the best and worst thing you could do in the winter mornings; you fool yourself into thinking you have a few more minutes of sleep, which you get, but you have to pay a big prize for doing this. By the time I decided to get out of bed I was already running late. I got out of my bed faster than a black man running away from an attacking German Shepard. It was mad scary.

I got in the shower and brushed my teeth at the same time. I put on what look like a descent outfit and I run to work. When I got there, I was so disappointed at myself because I was actually 30 minutes earlier than everybody else.

The lesson to learn here is that you should have your own key when going to work, because there is absolutely nothing more annoying than standing in the cold winter breeze wearing your girlfriend's crop top, a snapback, and soccer boots waiting thirty minutes for somebody to open the door.

It is not by the colour of their skin that will will judge them.

There have been a lot of people that suffered from the xenophobic attacks that have occurred in South Africa. Most of the victims are of course the black foreigners hailing from Nigeria all the way down to South Africa.

One wonders why these people are subject to such hostility and pain. Why after 1994 that black people are still fighting each other and we can not find a way to live with each other in a peaceful rainbow nation. Why can't we be happy that we have a black government in power which should be able to take care of their own people?

After all the fighting our ancestors (whether old or recent) had to endure to lay claim to what is rightfully theirs, one wonders if the fighting will ever stop.

The people of South Africa are not happy, they are fighting each other for crumbs. Why is this so? The government in power cares not to change the way things are right now, the government in power only cares about filling their pockets with enough cash, that when they retire, they will be rich and comfortable beyond measure.

The current status quo is pretty much the same as it was during the apartheid era. White people have always had economic power and they have done everything in their power to keep things that way, including infiltrating the very hearts of our government by giving them what they want, so they can keep what they want.

If we were to unit and get a government that will empower it's people economically, there would be less fighting with each other.

Black conciseness is not only about being aware that you are black, black conciseness is about realising that you have been marked by the systems put in place by the white minority on this country, that you are beneath them. This means that you have decided to fight these systems.

Why you mad though?

#Rhodes must fall has been on everybody's' lips if not their copter screens. The whole country has been affected by the brave students of UCT. Young black students fighting for change in higher education institution. So why is everybody so mad?

For over 300 years black people have been oppressed in this country. Apartheid only accounts for 46 years of that oppression. Before apartheid this country was controlled by the European settlers; the first permanent settlers were the Dutch who eventually transformed their settlements into a colony. the British entered the country and soon they were able to take control of the Dutch colony. Later the were unhappy with what had happened and they started to revolt, which resulted in the Boer war.

The Boer War started in 1899 and ended in 1902; the British had successfully defeated the Afrikaner’s, and gained control over several other colonies. The British reacted by placing Afrikaners in concentration camps, and killing 26,000 of them. Now that the British had control over several new colonies, the British wanted to unify these communities, and they created the South Africa Act in 1910, which established the Union of South Africa. The British recognized that these united colonies of South Africa would not run successfully without the cooperation of the Afrikaners. Therefore, the British proposed some compromises and eventually worked out conflicts between them and the Afrikaners. This cooperation laid out the foundation for a future of white supremacy in South Africa.

One the day of 1913 the native South African, woke up as a pariah in the land of his birth. These were the early stages of white supremacy which further resulted into apartheid.

When young black people stand up, recognise and fight the injustice that has been happening towards black people in this country, it surprises me why some people would think that these kids are causing a unnecessary commotion in this country. 

As a new South Africa, we can't have structure that still celebrates heroes of oppression, we should not tolerate any kind of oppression in educational institutions or in the work place. Many white people have a problem with #RhodesMustFall, purely because they realise that they will be losing some of their white privileges which they got through oppression.

If you do not have a valid reason as to why Rhodes should not fall, then you should do this country a huge favour and keep quiet. This is the black man fighting against the oppressive system put in place by our former oppressors, not against white people.